There are many kinds of Love but the Love referred to the feeling between two persons of opposite sex which results to marriage. This particularly the type of love which is an affectionate, permanent, positive feeling between two persons of the opposite Sex, who are sexually attracted to each other.
Elements of Love
Love has several elements according to Oliver in 1994:
- The Physical Element which is the powerful urge of a man toward a woman and vice versa,
- The Emotional Element which is a very strong attachment of one person to another manifested in one’s happiness in the presence of the other and loneliness in the other’s absence,
- The Intellectual Element which is a belief that they are compatible with each other. It is shown in one’s respect and admiration for the ideals, principles, and other fine qualities of the mind of the other, and
- The Volitional Element which is a very great determination to make suitably permanent and deeper during life.
Source: Oliver, Bernard J. Jr. Marriage and You. New Heaven Connecticut: College and University Press Service Inc. 1994
In man the soul is important than the body, thus the emotional and physical elements must be controlled by and subordinated to the intellectual and volitional elements of Love, the former is only the expression of the latter.
True human love must have the four elements. There is a mutual desire of two persons for oneness of their minds and wills as well as oneness of their hearts and bodies. Any normal person deeply in love by intellect and will with a member of the opposite sex, will, in time, experience a feeling towards the expression of love in some form of physical embrace. It is a gradual process and is developed only after some time. Once developed, it tries to be faithful in the face of adversities and hardships.
Love to Lasts
Love in order to be true and lasts must take the whole person, body, and soul, not the body alone. Physical desire or romantic feeling alone without spiritual love is a force that is blind violent and self-seeking. The regulation of this desire and the development of the spiritual love and the subordination of the former to the latter are necessary conditions before the true love can be true. It is said that one cannot Love truly if one has not learned to control oneself.
Love is said to be lasting when it continues to grow and develop to the very end despite difficulties and hardships. ”Enduring Love lasts for better and for worse; in sickness or in health till death do us part. Yes this does not mean that he who loves will never show some sign of selfishness, for he his only human. But every fall towards self-importance, he will try to make amends by constant renewal of love that are greater and more sacrificial than before.”
The secret of Love is for each to resolve or renew daily the intention of loving the other party enough to make him or her happy rather than to be made happy himself, and to show this action in many new ways the whole day through, everyday of his or her life.
The Characteristic of True Love
True Love cannot be defined but can be described. Many writer and scientific observers believe that the characteristics of true love can be known according to its components elements. True love is characterized by deep and lasting trust and esteem of one for the other based on a true knowledge of the other. It is something tested, that is, tested by the time.
One who has with true love always thinks of the loved one. These are the characteristics are:
- True Love is patient, bears up anything, and is willing to adjust at all times and in all places.
- True Love is unselfish. It never uses. Most people had the experience of being used rather than being loved.
- True Love shows respect . It does not take advantage of the other person. It does not in spoil sexual pleasure of it knows the God-revealed principle which is sexual pleasure should reserve for marriage.
- True love is the love that binds a man and a woman to enter into marriage, It is therefore the love that begins a family.
- True love understands that marriage is a relationship that is sacred and indissoluble, with each of the couple having different roles and functions to perform and various rights to exercise for the unity and success of their home.
- True love knows the dignity of parenthood and the beauty of children and activities to cause and educate them with wisdom and love that they may be true citizens of the world.
- True Love continues to develop much more after marriage than during courtship because it is only in marriage where each knows the other intimately including one’s weakness and feelings.
- True Love is understanding. He or she tries to understand more about his or her partner’s culture, education, temperament and environment.
- True Love forgiving for a fault, it sees defects or faults but find reasons for them or excuses them.
- True Love is sacrificial. It tries to subject the passion under the control of reason.
- Lastly, true love is not indifferent to the effects of postponing the wedding and does not prolong the period of postponement excessively, but can wait unreasonable time. The person may think of period of postponement as one of the further preparations for marriage so that it will be a successful one.
True Love is difficult to define but as you have seen, it could be described. Since women, when it comes to sexual relationships have a particular pale. they should know the indication of true love. There is a general agreement that it is true love if the person thinks more of the happiness of the other than he does of himself. He wants to be with her in her company. He longs for her when she is away, happy when she is around and lonely when she is not. He/she wants to share with him/her his problems or sorrows, his/her happiness, every hove and every disappointment. He/she sees him/her faults but finds reasons for them or excuses them. To male, a clear indication of true love is sincere intention of bringing her before a person authorized to perform marriage to express his promise of faithfulness for she is the one he wants to be the mother of his children.